Devious and Crafty

So Far, So Good

2011-06-28T21:13:00.000-03:00

So I've been back at work for two days and things are going great. The girls are adjusting to the sitter's as well as I expected and Husband seems to be coping well with only having one vehicle.

In a meeting today the bosses confirmed what I already knew, that I will be "running" our video project. We are keeping my mat leave replacement on, hopefully full time so this means that I am his boss. This is exciting but I've kind of got my fingers crossed that it will eventually mean a raise. I don't expect anything right away since I have to prove that they made the right decision to keep both of us on full time.

One of the women I originally started with is now running the whole marketing team, another is second in command at the call center. It's weird seeing the people I started with at entry level moving up. It makes me really happy and I am excited for all of us but it makes me feel old.

Canada Post, Unions, Mail

2011-06-25T09:12:00.001-03:00

I am a good, pro-union socialist. I believe in collective bargaining and the strength unions get from the people they represent. That said I am torn right now. If it weren't for some parts of the back to work bill I would probably support the legislation.
I am opposed to the proposed binding arbitration. I do not think that picking one side's proposal over another will accomplish anything good. I feel that there are unreasonable demands on both sides. Canada Post is an aging institution that needs drastic changes soon but the CUPW needs to protect as many jobs as possible.

Back to Work Blues

2011-06-23T14:09:00.001-03:00

I'm getting sad and nervous about going back to work. I'm going to miss my girls. I can't imagine spending the whole day away from them. J is in for quite a shock. She's not used to being away from me for that much time.

I'm also nervous about housework and that stuff suffering. I'm not sure what the new schedule is going to look like but I'm fairly certain that I will be waking up at 6am and going to bed just before midnight.

Back to Work

2011-06-21T14:25:00.000-03:00

I am getting ready to go back to work. I will be returning to my job as videographer in less than one week. When I go back I will technically be getting a promotion. My project is expanding and they hope to keep the dude who covered my mat leave on at least part-time. I'll be in charge and he will be working for me.

They have grand plans involving YouTube. Since that was the direction I originally wanted everything to take I am really looking forward to returning and seeing everything through.

I'm nervous about how the girls will do at the sitter's. Jessica still doesn't like it that much but she gets better every time she's there.

Where is Universal Childcare?

2011-03-28T08:33:00.000-03:00

We were supposed to have universal childcare by now. My mother's generation started the fight but somewhere along the road it got lost amongst the many other battles we had to fight. The only province in Canada that has childcare available on such a huge scale is Quebec and I don't see us moving there any time soon. I shouldn't have to struggle with deciding to go back to work or not based solely on how much I would have to pay for child care.
My kids deserve quality care. I deserve to be able to work without worrying how I am going to afford their care. My husband deserves to have a happy wife and well cared for children.
With the federal election coming I have started to think about becoming active and volunteering for a party. I was also thinking about what I can do to bring universal child care to life between elections. I want my daughters to be able to make these decisions without worrying about how everything will be paid for.
I wonder if we could set up work based daycare. I wonder if there are enough Moms annd Dads at the office to make that work. I wonder how receptive the bosses would be. Hmmm.

Being Pregnant

2011-03-24T09:29:00.003-03:00

I loved being pregnant. I loved feeling the little being inside me moving and growing. I didn't love the aches, the pain, the heartburn. I knew going into both pregnancies that there is a physical toll to be paid for undergoing that much physical change in such a short time. That said, there wasn't much that I truly hated about being pregnant. I only really hated one thing.

I hated being treated like an incubator. I hated that not only did I have to share my body with this potential person, the obvious physical signs of pregnancy meant that I was sharing my body with the world. Intellectually I knew I would be giving up some autonomy to the potential person sharing my body but I was not emotionally prepared to have that autonomy taken by my family or anyone else for that matter.

When I was pregnant with my first child I was working at the Wal-Mart Portrait Studio for the winter. We had no where to keep food except the Wal-Mart employee break room. Technically I wasn't a Wal-Mart employee so their insurance didn't cover any accidents that might happen to me out back so I didn't use the employee break room. Our only options for lunch were either to have someone bring us lunch or go to the in-store MacDonalds.

On one occasion I was leaving MacDonalds with a take out bag. Some pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged man had the audacity to come up to me and say "That food is bad for your baby." I was so shocked that a stranger would say something like that that I didn't even think of a retort. The obvious response being that what I ate was none of his damn business. He wasn't my doctor or my husband or even a friend. His unsolicited advice demonstrated to me, for the first time, how little people respected the autonomy of a pregnant body. I had studied it academically in bioethics and women's studies classes but that is a different experience. Knowing something exists and actually experiencing it are vastly different.

Now that I'm removed from the doubt of my first pregnancy I can look back and see all of the incidents when people were treating my body as a vehicle for my unborn fetus. As much as I love them my in-laws are guilty of this, my co-workers too. Most people are guilty of this at one time or another and it's almost never malicious. They have just internalized the belief that women are simply not able to make their own decisions without help.
We are taught that middle-aged, rich white men know what is best for every pregnant body. This has never been true. Women should be trusted to know what is best for our bodies, pregnant or not.
I hope to empower my daughters to take control of their own bodies. I will do my best to teach them about their autonomy.

Crafts!

2011-02-08T22:58:00.000-04:00

I have to change craft preferences. It turns out all the crochet I've been doing and all the wool I've been handling have destroyed my skin. I've had dry, cracked skin all winter. Since I've got some fancy-pants cream from my Dr. and slowed down my crochet I have gotten better. My skin is still sensitive but it's not bleeding and cracking anymore.
This means I'm going to try working more with polymer clay. It's hard to work with clay and care for the little ones. Monkey tried to take off with my tools and a chunk of clay today. Thank god we don't have carpets. I'd have found pink goo smeared into it.

Babies, again

2011-02-07T09:40:00.000-04:00

MIL has sent her sister to look after SIL. Auntie will be there until the babies are born so my services are not needed. MIL was just going to cancel her trip to Fla. but Auntie volunteered to take the role as caretaker. I'm more than a little relieved. I was very nervous about looking after a very pregnant, very stubborn woman who I had to keep in her bed 23 hours of the day. I also would have had to look after her 11y/o and my monkeys.

MIL didn't call in Auntie because she was worried about me looking after SIL. She was concerned about BIL. He was (is?) quite useless, disappearing for the day to do his own thing, hiding in the basement and generally being a man an not understanding pregnancy and bed rest.

I am hoping to visit before the boys are born. I think SIL would like some time with my girls before she is too busy with her own.

Babies!

2011-01-23T01:29:00.000-04:00

Baby J is 6 months old today and Monkey is just over a week away from 2. I turn 27 (gasp) this weekend. Time needs to slow down. I cannot believe how quickly time passes as I get older. I swear J was only born a few weeks ago. They grow too quickly, but not quickly enough. I really wish Monkey would figure the potty thing out. My hands can't take anymore diapers.

SIL is officially on bedrest. I have offered to come look after her but BIL is due home Tuesday and she has her parents with her until then. I'm starting to wonder if she even needs me to come at all. I have a feeling she'll be in the hospital full time before my shift at her house.

Airing Complaints

2011-01-14T13:50:00.001-04:00

Not having a good week. Kids aren't sleeping. Monkey has decided to be 2 a few weeks early. Baby J has started eating solid foods so she's adjusting to that change. Monkey has a nasty diaper rash. She screams every time I try to change her. I have to pin her down with my legs to change her. We've been potty training but no luck yet.
Daddy is working crazy hours. I have minimal help but at least I'm not totally alone. My biggest worry/complaint is that I have agreed to help out my SIL for 3 weeks in February. She's pregnant with triplets and is essentially on bed rest. Her husband is a marine engineer and is away for most of Feb. My in-laws, her parents, are helping her out now but they are going to Florida at the end of January for a month so they won't be able to look after SIL and her 11 y/old daughter.
I'm petrified that something will happen while I'm there. Daddy will be with us for part of the trip but for most of it it's just me. SIL has her in-laws nearby but word has it that she is not getting along with her MIL right now. Vi (my 11 y/o niece) is mostly able to look after herself by since SIL needs looking after too I will be there to help. Nana will be looking after Monkey for part of the visit but since J still hates bottles she will stay with me. In addition to worrying the SIL will go into labor I'm worried about how well we will get along. Being pregnant is hard on every body, but being pregnant with triplets and on bed rest would be extremely trying. I can only imagine how hard this is going to be on her and I am going to be there for part of it. I hope I can keep my patience with her and my girls.
Add to my problems an extremely messy house with piles of dishes and laundry and you have one stressed out Mommy Murple.

A British Motoring Show

2011-01-08T10:12:00.000-04:00

I have a confession to make. It's a confession millions of people around the world could make. I am in love with TopGear. Not only that, I have passed this love on to my parents and my children.

I love TopGear because the blokes who host it manage to seem like the kind of guys with whom I would have a beer. They bullshit and entertain while seemingly showing us (gasp) useful information about cars. They make the kind of car show I would make if I had their budget. And writers. And time.

I love the fast shiny cars but not as much as I love the dynamic relationship between Jezza, Hamster and Capt. Slow. This show makes me and my husband want to go on "TopGear" adventures around our province. It makes me want to drive fast around tight curves and narrow highways.

Post-Christmas Recovery

2011-01-05T08:19:00.000-04:00

We spent 2 weeks of the holiday away from home. My girls are a little off their schedules and taking a few days to recover. I was with my parents for a week and my in-laws for a week. I went a little crazy. I love both families but I missed my house and my stuff. It's unnerving being in someone else's space for so long.
Now that we're home I'm trying to organize all of the new toys and gadgets. We have so much stuff. I look and worry that it won't get played with bit my worries are mostly unfounded. At least I'm playing with my new toys.

Rock & Roll

2010-12-08T22:22:00.001-04:00

My babies grow too fast. J rolled over today, for the first time. She looked so confused. I didn't think to write down my thoughts any time El achieved a movement milestone so I will try for J. She had been trying for some time to roll and I have been putting her on the floor to help her develop her muscles and to play with her sister and her toys.
J was trying so hard this morning. While she was practicing rolling E was eating another crayon. I almost missed J's roll because I was getting chewed crayon out of her sister's mouth. "Don't eat that" has become a frequent refrain in my house.
E sits in armchairs like a teenager. I can't believe she's almost 2.

Crafts - if you are family you might spoil your surprise if you read this.

2010-11-13T11:49:00.001-04:00

Wow, it's been a long time since I've wrtten about my crafts. I recently finished a trio of Teddy bears for my SIL's impending arrivals. Since we don'tknow the sexes of the babies each bear has 2 outfits. I made the patterns for the clothes myself and the bears are from Amigurumi World.
I have made Mom a gift and I'm trying to make her another. I am hoping to make a hooded shawl but we'll see. I might be over estimating my free time.
I'm also making Husband a gift. Haven't decided what it will be but it's videogame related.

Hair

2010-11-09T23:36:00.000-04:00

I'm losing my hair again. This is the 3rd time and it is miserable. I have never been a vain person but hair loss is trying and hard.
The first time I lost my hair was in my last full time year of university. I had worked numerous jobs and as far as I could tell the hair loss was stress-related. It was a scary day when I first noticed that bald patch.
The second time I lost hair was when I was pregnant with my first child. That bout wasn't so bad since it wasn't unexpected and it was even so no nasty patches.
This time it feels like stress and hormones. I'm still breastfeeding Baby J and things are a little crazy around here. I am going to try to keep my hope up that I'm imagining most of the problems but if I find any bald spots I am going to the doctor.

Venting Frustration

2010-11-07T17:00:00.001-04:00

I love my husband but he is driving me nuts today. I have spent the day cleaning shit. Both of the bathrooms have been cleaned, he hasn't had to change a single diaper and I've cleaned the cabinet were a rodent friend has been hiding. I don't want to hear shit about not putting the clean dish towels away. Sure, he was quite polite about it but still, when I spend a good chunk of the day doing the disgusting chores while he watches cartoons with the kids and plays video games I deserve a break for not getting the towels into the drawer.

The 'Ween Was a Bit of a Failure

2010-11-01T22:42:00.000-03:00

Monkey refused to wear her costume. She screamed and ran away from it. Nana managed to get her into her froggy sweater and we called that a costume. They went trick or treating at the mall while husband, baby J and I went to the craft show in Dartmouth. That was also disappointing. There were fewer vendors than last year and the main one we go to, the cheese man, wasn't there. We had fun and still got fudge and saw the in-laws.

Visiting family with kids in tow.

2010-09-23T14:59:00.000-03:00

I've been visiting my parents for a few days with both girls. Husband has been working overtime getting something done involving emptying a stockroom in only a few days so we decided to get out of his hair. He will be joining us at his parents' on Saturday.
Traveling with 2 kids is a pain in the ass. They require so much stuff. I've got to bring a crib, a high chair, two sizes of diapers, sippy cups, toddler forks and spoons, and toys, not to mention the clothes. I have tried to reduce the ammount of stuff we bring but it seems to multiply when I'm not looking.

Married Life

2010-09-09T10:47:00.002-03:00

Husband has been acting weird lately. He keeps asking if there is something wrong and then he gets quiet when I tell him the only thing wrong is that I'm tired due to the twice nightly wakeups. He thinks that he doesn't do enough around the house or with the girls which is sometimes true. When I ask him to do something as often as not he forgets and I have to do it. My strategy is to leave Baby J with him while I do the things that need to be done like dishes and changing the bag in the diaper pail. This works surprisingly well. He gets to spend time with his daughters and I get to finish the chores that didn't get done earlier.

He still thinks that there is something wrong no matter how many times I try to reassure him. I'm not sure what I can do to convince him that I am happy if a little sleep-deprived. Oh well, I will keep trying to reassure him that all is well. We're working very hard and trying to have time together where neither of us is stressed out or tired is going to be a challenge for the next 10 years or so.

Flexing my writing muscles

2010-08-28T09:02:00.003-03:00

One daughter is asleep in my lap. The other found her bananas from breakfast and is chowing down watching cartoons. I want to go out and do something today. Husband has the car so we will be hanging around the house.

They are growing so quickly. Monkey is so tall and she is very independent. She wants to do everything by herself. She loves to dance. I have a hard time remembering what she was like when she was Baby J's age.

Baby J is growing too. She's huge and strong. She is getting better at holding her head up. She keeps trying to roll over already.

It's amazing how different they look. Baby J has a pointy chin and a different nose. Her hair is lighter and she is longer and leaner than Monkey.

I have to get started on some Christmas presents and a wedding present. I'm making Monkey a tea set with yarn food. I've got the tea pot and a cake made. It's cute. I am going to make a couple of blankets and a vest or sweater. I think I'm being over ambitious. We'll see.

Waiting

2010-08-20T21:15:00.003-03:00

Both the babies are asleep and Husband is at work. I'm bored and lonely. I've been watching far too much CNN today. I forgot how much American news sucks. I have heard about the recent poll about Obama's faith non-stop since I turned on CNN.

I find the focus on faith that seems to obsess Americans kind of disturbing. In Canada our PM is reportedly a man of faith but we never hear about it. I don't know what any politician's believe and I'm ok with that. I think Canadians are much more private and modest than Americans about everything, including our personal faith and moral compass.

Faith should be private. Your relationship with faith should not concern anyone other than your family so long as your faith doesn't require breaking any laws. Many Americans would probably lead more peaceful and quiet lives if they were as concerned with their own spiritual health as they are about their president's.

Sleeping Babies All Around

2010-08-13T12:46:00.002-03:00

The babies are both asleep. Normally I would be too but I have been trying to get caught up on chores and things that have suffered while I've been in baby-mode. The Dishwasher has been unloaded but not re-loaded, adult laundry has been washed and most of it has been folded but not put away. Kitchen and living room floors have been swept but not mopped. All in all a pretty good day.

I am suffering from a bit of cabin fever. I didn't leave the house yesterday. DH works until late tonight so I am on my own with the girls until after bedtime. We will probably go for a walk to the mailbox and a run around the yard when Monkey wakes up from her nap.

Baby J is doing great. She is getting bigger and stronger every day. She sleeps very well in her own bed most of the time but around 4 or 5am she needs to have a warm body nearby.

Nana is coming for a few days because DH is going to Ont. for business stuff. I don't think I could handle the trips to the airport with the little ones in tow to pick him up for his return flight. He gets in well after Monkey's bed time so she would not be a fun traveling companion.

Home With Baby J

2010-07-20T15:49:00.002-03:00

We are home with Baby J. Monkey is still a little unsure what is going on. I am still a little groggy and worn out. I will write a more detailed report later. Baby J was 8lbs 10oz, 21 inches long.

Can't sleep

2010-07-10T04:20:00.002-03:00

Can't sleep again. Things are hurting and I'm hungry. It's still too hot to get up.
Monkey is sleeping, husband is snoring lightly and I'm wide awake.

Still Not in Labor

2010-07-07T13:00:00.003-03:00

So I'm still pregnant. Mom and Dad are coming tonight, not to wait for the baby but to pick my aunt from Ont. up at the airport and go to the internment of my grandfather's ashes. I can't go due to the closeness to my due date but most of the family will be passing through this part of NS on their way so I will try to visit.

Husband is diligently working away at dishes and laundry and various other chores. He cleaned out the cars this morning before it got too hot. It's the hottest day so far this year so I'm trying not to be too warm. Monkey's having a naked nap. She started screaming at me for no reason during lunch so I put her to bed when we were done. I think she's got another molar coming in. She was up a couple of times last night and she was not happy about it.

Little Brother is supposed to be job hunting this week. Hopefully he is because if he doesn't find a job soon Mom is kicking him out to come live here. He will be my nanny until he finds a job here.

Return of the Monkey

2010-07-04T07:55:00.002-03:00

Nana is bringing back the monkey today. It sounds like they had a pretty good weekend. Lots of fun in the sun and being spoiled by Nana. Monkey got to go swimming, went on a shopping spree at the dollar store for toys and traumatized Uncle by screaming the whole time she was in his care.

Today is supposed to be hot. If it wasn't for the major road trip they are taking to return I would suggest a trip to the beach when Nana and Monkey get home but I have a feeling that both will be sick of cars by that point.

Still no labor. I'm getting the occasional tweak like I did with Monkey but not much more. I hate waiting.

4am

2010-07-03T04:04:00.002-03:00

It's 4am and I can't sleep. It might have something to do with the fact that I went to bed at roughly 9pm or the feet sticking into my ribcage again or the heartburn and backache that won't go away. Ahh, the final weeks of pregnancy. I'm so glad I'll never have to do this again.

Monkey is with Nana for the weekend and Husband works tomorrow but not Sunday. We might have to do stuff and go places if we can figure out what we want to do for our last baby-free days.

Baby J feels like she is getting ready but not ready enough. According to husband I'm supposed to go into labor on Thursday. I told him I'll try but the doctors have warned me that we're probably going to be late again. Yay!

I'm going to watch some TV and try to fall asleep on the couch.

SAHM Again

2010-06-28T08:48:00.003-03:00

I am officially a stay at home mom again, at least temporarily. Today is my first day of mat leave. Monkey's at the sitter today so I can try to organize things around here, file my paperwork with the gov't and sort through newborn supplies. I think I will also have to make a trip to the local second hand clothing stores today to find summer clothes and PJs for toddlers.

We still have to get a bassinet for Baby J but I think that's the only thing we need to buy. I will scour Kijiji today to see if I can get a deal.

It looks like Little Brother will be moving in with us for at least the summer. He hasn't had any luck with finding a job in F'ton so I told Mom to kick him out and ship him here. If he doesn't find a job he can at least be my nanny for the summer.

I can't wait to not be pregnant anymore. I am sore, tired and I can't move properly. It makes chasing after a toddler hard. It hurts to sit, it hurts to stand, it hurts to bend. Husband has been sick with a nasty cold so neither of us have been sleeping. Monkey has been sleeping very well despite the molar that is about to break through.

Baby J seems to sleep at night, but that might have to do with the fact that I don't really hear or feel much when I'm asleep. I hear Monkey when she cries, but that's about it. I don't hear Husband or the TV and I don't feel kicks or wiggles.

Countdown Is On

2010-06-15T15:11:00.003-03:00

I'm done work in less than 2 weeks and the baby's due in 4. AHHHH! I'm not ready.

Monkey has started sleeping in her new bedroom. She's made it through one and a half nights in there. We have to get some kind of curtain to separate her bedroom from the play space we set up.

I'm going to the Ob/Gyn weekly now, which is always awesome. I love the consistent over-long wait times.

I still have to pack my hospital bag but I'm procrastinating. Since Monkey was so very late I don't want to jinx myself this time and prepare too early. The Ob/Gyn said that history usually repeats itself so I'm trying not to get my hopes up even though baby J has dropped already.

Daddy plans on taking at least 2 weeks off of work for the birth etc... but it might be longer depending on when everything happens.

Nap Time = Party Time

2010-05-24T10:06:00.003-03:00

Monkey has decided that when Mommy puts her in bed to sleep it's really time to start singing, dancing and occasionally jumping on the bed. I'm torn. Do I leave her there until she falls asleep or do I eventually say "f--k it, she's not going to fall asleep" ? If the later, then when?

This is my current dilemma. She's not crying, she's not upset. A big part of me just wants to leave her there. Does this make ma a lazy mother? She's occupied, I don't have to worry about her since she's in her crib and she's not upset about it. I probably will eventually say "f--k it." but for now she's fine and she still might fall asleep.

Work, Babies, Life

2010-05-19T17:49:00.002-03:00

I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore. I would dearly love to have my abdomen back. To not have constant pressure on my ribs, to have less back and hip pain. I know that my breasts won't be mine again for a while but I think I can handle that. I've been pregnant or breastfeeding for 2 years now, non-stop so I have accepted that parts of me aren't going to be mine for some time.

I'm at the stage of pregnancy where I wake up every couple of hours. My body is getting ready for late-night feedings again. This wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that Monkey hasn't been sleeping either and despite my numerous requests the office has yet to implement my "Company Nap-Time" idea. Sigh.

My mat leave replacement seems to be ready to do the job. He's been involved for long enough and has participated in enough to know the drill. I'm not worried about things going belly up while I'm away. We have completed shooting 64 videos. I'm not sure when we will have them all edited with transcripts but that's part of the project. Right now we're focused on equipment suppliers and maintaining our shooting schedule.

Husband has taken up the guitar. One of his employees is a musician and the in-laws are a musical bunch so he has lots of inspiration to draw from. I'm working on amigurumi toys with needle-felted details. Monkey is working on words and putting things in places.

Feeling Better

2010-04-28T06:57:00.002-03:00

I am finally starting to kick this cold. I still can't taste or smell anything but I slept fairly well last night and my sore throat is lessening. There's still a lot of pain in my sinuses but hopefully that will clear up soon.

We tried looking at another place last night. By tried I mean we drove in to the driveway to turn around to leave. It was a mobile home out in Beaver Brook. We have seen some beautiful mobile homes. This was not one. I did not want my children anywhere near that house. As Husband put it "This is where you go when you get divorced and don't get anything." So he joked about recommending it to a friend who is getting divorced. It was dingy, appeared to be falling apart and it was on a dirt road.

I will keep up the hunt. I got a few more emails back. If you have any tips for finding a rental property in Colchester Co. NS please let me know!

Sick

2010-04-23T14:45:00.002-03:00

I have been struck down by the cold to end all colds. The worst part is I got it from my daughter who has been acting like a trooper. If this was how she felt she is my freaking hero for not being a pain in the ass.

It constantly amazes me how little things like this faze her. She is almost always a happy, bouncy, wonderful little girl who brightens up everyone's day even when I know she must feel like hell.

We are looking for another place to live. We've seen one place that was almost perfect but a little small. I really liked it but Greg was not convinced, so we will keep looking. The housing market in Truro is weird. There seem to be lots of availabilities but landlords are very slow to get back to me.

We will continue the search. Oh, and #2 is a girl too. Husband is stuck in a house full of women.

And so it goes...

2010-04-10T09:58:00.003-03:00

Husband needs a change. I want to support him but he needs answers I can't give him. I think he would like me to tell him what to do but I can't.

He's tied down by the idea that he has to keep doing what he's doing in order to provide for our family. It's all very noble and a grand gesture but ultimately if he's miserable he's no good to me as a provider. We need more than a steady income to make this family work. I would rather be living in a tiny 2 bedroom apartment trying to budget my groceries than living in a mansion with unlimited access to a personal chef if it means the difference between him coming home happy every night or him coming home unable to play with his children or spend time with me.

I'll just keep supporting him and I will try my best to keep everything together while he figures out what he wants to do. I keep telling him we can make just about anything work. He takes his role as a provider very seriously but I need him as a partner and a father more than as a provider.

Housing Co-Op

2010-04-05T12:54:00.003-03:00

We have applied for a place with a local housing co-op. It looks like an interesting idea and I've been thinking about it for some time. I checked their website the other day and found that they have an upcoming 3 bedroom vacancy. I've got my fingers crossed but they do a credit check and that might work against us. We'll see.

I'm off work today because the sitter is closed for the holiday but the office is open. I had to take a vacation day. I might go in to the office later to check on a couple of things. Monkey and I have to pick up some groceries any way.

We're working on building my hat stash. I have a few that need to be blocked. I'm getting better every time I complete one. I can get a basic hat made in about an hour if I'm not interrupted. I should get some pictures up.

Number 2 is doing well. I am around 25 weeks, give or take a few days. I have heartburn almost non-stop, my nose is constantly running and my back is very tender. In other words I'm still pregnant. We are hoping to book an appointment for gender-determination and 3D pictures soon. Nana and Grandpa have agreed to give the session to us as a gift because I'm too cheap to spend that much money on something that is not a necessity.

I'm a little conflicted about the gender determination. I want to know for practical reasons involving the massive amounts of clothes that Monkey has. We are holding on to things so that if we have another girl we don't have to buy much. It takes up a lot of space and since we will probably be moving to a smaller place soon we might need to reduce our storage needs.

Holy Motherhood Batman!

2010-03-26T06:12:00.001-03:00

It's been a while. How are things?

Life caught up with me and has been running me ragged. Working full time with a one-year old and another one on the way takes its tole time-wise and one of my many sacrifices has been the ability to write my thoughts on a semi-regular basis.

I can write now because pregnancy related sleep problems woke me up at an ungodly hour and have kept me up since. Monkey sleeps through the night so I can't blame her. Number 2 kicks a lot but according to husband I can sleep through a lot of that. This is just plain old "I had to pee and couldn't get back to sleep."

Monkey's walking and has a few words that we try to get her to use. She can say "Up" or something that almost sounds like "up" (could be uhuhuhptttp). She has 6 teeth and I think she has a few more on the way soon. At one point I was trying to keep track of all of this in a baby book but that has been abandoned too.

Number 2 is due in July. We are excited and scared and all those other things you are supposed to be when expecting. We will probably have to move again before 2 gets here, unless we can find a roommate who doesn't mind sharing a house with 2 young children.

That's everything in a skeletal blog post. I would try to promise that I'll update more but I think that's debatable, if not an outright lie.

Officially started Christmas Shopping!

2009-10-19T19:23:00.003-03:00

I just ordered my first Christmas present. I am getting something Hockey-related for Husband. It's something he has been asking for for some time. I might wind up giving it to him for his birthday.

I am look at quite a few more things, but this is a start.

Wish me luck!

Sleep Deprivation Is Not as Glamourous As It Sounds

2009-10-18T22:29:00.002-03:00

I'm feeling very tired again. Squishy had a bad sleep day. She decided that napping is for losers and that she was a winner. Husband has run out of blood pressure meds and has been feeling it. He's got a Dr's appoint on Weds but until then he will be stressed and miserable.

I am not looking forward to work tomorrow. I will be the only one in the office. There was s recent move and most of my department is now in the big city about an hour's drive away. I am the only one there full time 5 days a week. On Monday's the only other person who might be in the office is Dwayne, and that's only if he doesn't have to drive any where.

Long Time No See

2009-10-17T08:21:00.002-03:00

Howdy! It has been a while. How are things?

Everything is great here but very busy. I am now back to work, preparing to be a videographer. I am not entirely sure I'm qualified but I am going to try my damnedest.

Squishy is huge. She has two teeth and is very close to crawling. She is eating and growing as well as can be expected. Even though I work during the day I am still breastfeeding at night.

We are all settled into our new house. Things are finally getting under control.

In crafting news I have joined the local embroidery guild. I hope to improve my embroidery and cross-stitch skill. They are a bunch of great ladies who welcomed us with open arms.

100th Post!

2009-08-05T11:23:00.002-03:00

I was about to write an average update about the move, Squishy, the bank screwing stuff up and my desire to bake when I noticed that this is my 100th blog post. Yay me!

As I look back on the previous 99 entries I notice that there is very little tying them all together. I have written about a little bit of everything. I think this speaks to my scatter-brained nature. I have a hard time focusing on any one thing for any length of time. I started this blog as a writing exercise and I think that, as such, it has been quite successful.

I am able to look back at the different posts and I know that I will not be embarrassed by them in 15 years when my daughter is old enough to future-equivalent-Google me. I may not be able to tell her exactly what I was planning on doing with this blog but it will serve as an accurate record of my life during this time. Hopefully I will be able to maintain this log as time goes on.

If you are reading this, thank you very much! I have not expected readers, so I am grateful to have any.

Day One of Move Complete

2009-07-29T09:23:00.001-03:00

We have started our big move! Yesterday was spent taking one of the kitties to his new home and taking the first loads of boxes to the new house.

We have a lot of stuff but plenty of time to move it. I just hope Squish can cope with the strange schedule we will be on for the next month.

Teething, Need I Say More?

2009-07-25T10:41:00.002-03:00

Squishy has started teething. She has been bemoaning her current situation at all hours of the day and night. She slept fairly well for the first half of last night but as soon as the Tylenol wore off she was waking frequently. Ask me how excited I am. She is trying like hell to sit up on her own. She's getting pretty good but I think it will take a while. She is not tiny so that is a lot of body for her to learn to balance.

In other news, we're moving! We found a house in the area that is reasonably priced with which we can all live. It's an older home but it has enough room so that Squishy has a room, Daddy and I have a room, Doodles and C have 2 rooms and Daddy has an office. I think I am going to take over part of the office for my craft stuff. The best part? It has a washer and dryer!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!! We start moving Tuesday, but we have all of August to move. I should be packing right now, but I'm feeling lazy.

What else is new... I made some awesome cupcakes. Nana bought me Martha Stewart's Cupcakes while she was visiting so I tried one of the recipes. I made Brown Sugar Pound Cake with Brown Butter Icing. They are delicious. Daddy thinks they are a little too sweet but he never had much of a sweet tooth.

Tall Ships, Visit from Nana, Mommy Brain

2009-07-21T10:36:00.003-03:00

We have had a fun weekend. Nana came for a visit and we went to see the Tall Ships in Halifax yesterday. Nana just left and Squishy is still asleep.

My brain is a little fried. I keep trying to write another "real" post but I can't seem to wrap my head around any of my thoughts long enough to compose something worth reading. Mom says that this will get better in time but I think "Mommy Brain" is going to be something I have to battle on a daily basis for a long time.

I've also been neglecting my crafts. I keep trying to start things, but I get 10 minutes in to a project and I lose track of what I am doing or where I am going with the idea. I have 3 strands of finger knitting that I thought I was going to turn into something but I forget what. I have lots of yarn that needs to be knit or crocheted into something and I have TONS of polymer clay.

Oh well. Soon enough I will have more help around the house and I will hopefully use that time for crafty goodness.

Help PartSelect donate $10,000 to Breast Cancer Research & You Could Win!

2009-07-07T14:37:00.003-03:00

Part Select, an online appliance parts retailer, is running an amazing contest. Check out the Paint Your Appliance Pink contest site or the Facebook Group for more details. The gist of it is that for every entry they will donate $25 to breast cancer research (up to $10,000) and you will be entered for a draw for awesome prizes.

The above picture is my first entry. There may or may not be more.

Home Again

2009-07-01T20:45:00.001-03:00

We are back in NS after an extended vacation in NB. We are slowly recuperating. We had a great time. First we visited SIL in Maine so that she could spend some quality time with her "Fairy God-Child" and then we left Squishy in the care of her Nana while Mommy and Daddy took some time to themselves at The Camp.

I was petrified of spending my first night without my baby. I wasn't worried about her, since my mother did a fantastic job raising me, I was worried about me. I missed her so much! I didn't want to turn in to an emotional wreck worried about every little thing. I was worried that she wouldn't take the formula, or that she would forget how to breastfeed. I wanted her first night without Mommy to go smoothly so that Nana wouldn't be scarred for life and might agree to do that again. I worried needlessly. Squishy was on her best behavior and slept. I managed not to make Daddy drive to F'ton in the middle of the night to check that Squishy was sleeping.

Doodles and C joined us for the weekend. It rained. We did not go swimming even though Squishy had her first dip in The Lake just days before. We did go to the aquarium and we went to town to visit the shops.

When we went to pick Squishy up from Nana's I was surprised by how much she had grown in only a few days. She looked so much bigger and older. She's not quite my little baby any more. She didn't forget how to breastfeed, and she maintained a healthy appetite while she was with Nana. I don't think I'll ever have to worry about her not eating. She is her father's daughter and Grampy's granddaughter.

Babies...

2009-06-07T10:44:00.003-03:00

I knew it wouldn’t last forever. I have been harbouring a secret resentment whenever anyone comments on how well-behaved my baby is or how quiet she is. I would mentally knock on wood every time someone mentioned how she is sleeping.

They have cursed me. She has gone from being the “perfect” baby to being a real baby. One who cries, wakes repeatedly in the night, won’t settle down, hates being held but refuses to be put down.

Sure, right now she is playing quietly with her jungle mat, she recently learned how to make the tiger sing, but I can sense the storm brewing beneath the surface. I can hear her gears grinding, preparing for the inevitable.

I knew this was what I signed on for, I was prepared for it but that doesn’t make it any easier. I spend a good part of my day frustrated, tired and ready to snap, but the moment she smiles or laughs either at me or at her daddy all of that melts away. I never knew I could love one person so much. I always knew I was patient but I never knew that she would test the limits of my patience and that they would hold. I never knew I could be this tired and still run when she needs me. I knew I would love being a mother but I never knew that I would be able to hinge my identity on simple motherhood. This little person makes my world a better place.

Choice again

2009-05-31T19:29:00.003-03:00

Wahoo! The abortion debate is hot in NB again and as usual I have something to say about it.

First, I apologize to a friend of mine for saying this since he has a personal connection but NB Health Minister Mike Murphy needs to resign. Sorry Mr. Murphy but your personal beliefs CANNOT interfere with your duty to ensure that everyone in NB has access to safe medical procedures and that those necessary procedures are paid for by Medicare. This includes a woman’s right to a safe abortion. It is not your place to allow anyone’s personal opinions to interfere with health care. I respect your right to hold opinions and I am not going to tell you that you are wrong but when your beliefs prevent you from upholding your duty as an elected official you need to step down and allow someone without that conflict of interests to do the job.

Aside from Mr. Murphy’s ridiculous statement the NB Appeals Courts has paved the way for Dr. Morgentaler to sue the NB government for payment of abortions provided in his clinic. The reason this is important is that the NB Gov’t has been claiming that only a woman who has had an abortion in the Fredericton clinic can sue for Medicare to cover the cost. No woman has stepped forward to sue so Dr. Morgantaler has taken it upon himself to do so in her absence.

As I was getting ready to finish this post I heard the news about Dr. George Tiller. I am deeply saddened at the loss of one of the few doctors in the US willing to practice late-term abortions. This just emphasizes the fact that though the fight for abortion rights is still a battle violence is never the answer.

I Can Haz Jorb?

2009-05-26T09:30:00.002-03:00

I had my first post-baby job interview on Friday. I walked into the interview under the impression that I would not want the job, but now I think I would love it. It sounded challenging, exciting and fun. The only problem is that Husband is now fairly sure that he wants to stay in NS. So I'm continuing the hunt.

The interview was a strange experience. It's the first time I have been asked about my family in an interview. I was able to talk about what Husband does, how my daughter is growing and our plans for the future. I felt old. I'm not sure what my chances of landing a second interview with the company are. I felt good about how the initial interview went but I lack executive assistant experience. I was one of 12 picked for interviews out of 200 applicants. That alone feels like an accomplishment.

I am going to continue hunting both in NS and in NB and see what happens. I know I will find something but I am taking my time and being picky this time.

Grumpasaurus Regina...

2009-05-18T15:51:00.002-03:00

The Squishy I knew and loved is gone. She has been replaced with a Grumpasaurus Regina. She does not want to be alone, but she doesn't want to play. She is sleeping through the night, but refuses to take naps in the afternoon.

Yay babies!

Hunting for the Elusive Career...

2009-05-14T10:56:00.002-03:00

I'm starting to think I should have begun career planning when I was still in university. I am at a huge disadvantage due to my complete and total lack of tangible skills. I have a lot of skills that are intangible, however how well can you demonstrate an ability to learn new skills on a resume? Therein lies my problem.

I am still hunting for a career. I've been offered my old job back, the one at the Portrait Studio, but I need something with more hours and more room for advancement. The job market in small town NS is slim pickings for someone with a BA and no practical skills.

I have applied for a few jobs in the 'Fax and in the F'ton area but I'm not sure if Husband wants to move, or wants to watch me commute every day. All I know is that I do not want to wait tables or work in a restaurant again. I thought I was done with that when I graduated.

Back to the grind

2009-05-11T14:13:00.001-03:00

Now that Squishy is getting bigger and more independent I am starting to think about life outside the home again. Husband and I have been discussing me going back to work to allow him to take parental leave. This had been our initial plan before I was laid off but since I wasn’t able to find a “real” job after I was let go we have just planned for me to stay home since we need his income.
The only problem with my job hunt is that I don’t think I will find a job in our area. This isn’t entirely bad. Husband and I both want to move back to the homeland to be closer to our families. I have been looking for work back in F’ton where I think I have the best chance of finding something I will like. I think it will take some time for me to find a job where I will be able to use my talents. I would desperately love to do something in the non-profit sector that involves online marketing or publication and promotions, but I think I have to start in administration again.

Trip to the Park

2009-04-06T12:14:00.002-03:00

Yesterday was Squishy's first trip to Victoria Park. We had an exciting time since the trails were still covered in ice and Daddy was carrying her in her Snuggly-thing. She slept the entire time we were walking. Daddy took some pictures with his new camera, but I don't think he's put them on his computer and I don't know how to use his new camera.

Everything was beautiful but a little scary. The water in the stream was roaring from all of the rain we've had recently. The ice that covered most of the trails was a little treacherous and we almost fell several times.

We will be frequenting the park more as the weather warms up. I can't wait until Squishy is big enough to play in the playground, and dip in the water. I think Daddy will be taking lots of pictures with his new water-proof camera.

In an unrelated note, Daddy recently commented that he doesn't have many pictures of me holding Squishy. As I thought about it, I realized why. As soon as there is someone else around to look after her, I usually hand Squishy over to them. Daddy usually wants to take pictures when something special is going on, meaning there is usually someone around to hold Squishy while I get stuff done. I spend most of my day holding her, playing with her and feeding her but there are no pictures of this because I spend a good chunk of my day alone with her.

Dinner With Friends

2009-04-03T11:08:00.004-03:00

I made dinner last night, complete with cupcake dessert. Squishy was well-behaved and only fussed when we were just sitting down to dinner. Daddy took over soother duty, so he sat with her for a while until she settled so he could eat.

This was my first attempt at fancy cupcakes. I took pictures!

Decorations made free-hand from royal icing. It didn't harden as much as I had hoped.

My silicone cupcake cups.

Some finished cupcakes!

It was fun, and I will have to make more soon!

I'm being watched...

2009-04-02T10:24:00.003-03:00

It feels like I've got tiny little eyes on me all the time. There is a little person living in my house that takes in everything. I can't believe how much she pays attention to everything that is going on. If the TV is on she will watch the movement and colours, if she's in her swing she stares around the room. I make sure that I sit in her line of sight. If I'm not in her line of sight I tell her where I am. She just sits and watches.

We had our 1st set of needles this week. On Monday we went to the Dr. and she was a brave girl. She was bawling of course but stopped as soon as we got in the Jeep. She has almost started laughing, when she is particularly amused she makes practice laughing noises. She is becoming much more vocal at the same time. She has conversations with me and with Daddy when he gets home from work.

Doodles and C are coming over for dinner tonight. I am going to attempt to make fancy cupcakes in addition to the roast. I'm not sure what else we will do but we always have a good time when they visit.

First Bottle!

2009-03-11T20:28:00.002-03:00

I am so proud! Squishy just took her first bottle from her father! She only put up minimal resistance. I didn't pump much so she was still hungry and needed some boob.

Another Day

2009-03-11T10:09:00.002-03:00

Squishy is in her swing asleep and Husband is sleeping in because he has the day off work. I'm watching crappy daytime TV waiting for something to happen. I suppose I could get up and so more laundry, or clean the cat's litter box but I want to be lazy right now. Maybe I'll get another cup of coffee.

Squishy sleeps like her father. They both make the same noises and they both dream. I think her dreams are vivid since she is very active and vocal when she dreams. She has been sleeping very well. Last night she slept from 11 to 4:30 and was back to sleep well before 5. The night before she didn't wake at all from 11pm to 6am.

The cats are still mad at me. Rook keeps trying to get me to pay attention to him, but he does that by getting on Squishy's laundry or trying to jump in my lap when I'm breastfeeding. Luna just ignores me.

Back in NS

2009-03-09T15:42:00.004-03:00

We are back in Nova Scotia after a lovely visit to New Brunswick. We got to introduce Squishy to Husband's family. Gramma and Grampy are wonderful with Squishy. Auntie Lizard and Aunt Fuffer got some quality time with Squishy.

I have known my MIL long enough to know that she has a very strong personality. This was the first time I have ever felt at-odds with her. She is the best mother-in-law I could imagine but I was not prepared for her assuming most of the responsibility for Squishy. I enjoyed knowing that someone else would look after her if I needed help, but MIL took that role quite seriously, once going so far as to take Squishy out of my arms. That was a strange experience. I know that the only reason she did that was because the sound of a crying baby has the same effect on her as fingernails on a chalkboard but it still made me question two things I have not yet considered;

1) Am I doing everything I can to comfort my child?
2) Does my MIL think I am a bad mother?

I think that these questions will continue to plague me for the rest of my life.

Boobs are the Center of Her Universe

2009-02-24T19:02:00.005-04:00

Squishy has grown. She is almost 11lbs and she's not even a month old. She has gained about a pound a week since we got home from the hospital. She loves boobs. She feeds at least ever 3 hours, usually more frequently than that. Bad news though, we have thrush. My nipples have been killing me. They have been bright pink and one has had some residue on the areola. Squishy has the same white residue in her mouth. We've both got prescriptions for it and hopefully everything will clear up quickly. I have had no other problems with breastfeeding so this must be my trial.

Test Run

2009-02-23T08:54:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was our test run for our trip home. We took a brief shopping trip to the city to see how well she would do in the car and in new situations. She did amazingly well. She slept most of the car trip so that was no problem and she only got fussy when she was hungry and she only had to be changed twice.

She let me try on and buy some new clothes. We bought her some toys for the trip to NB and a baby bed for our bed. HUsband still needs new clothes but that will wait.

Squishy is growing so fast. I can't believe she's almost 4 weeks old. We have another doctor's appointment tomorrow. Hopefully she will check out ok. She's eating well and making lots of dirty diapers for us. She has started learning to mimic funny faces. Husband sticks his tongue out at her and she can stick hers out back with a little effort! He is completely wraped around her little finger. I have never seen a man so in love with such a tiny little person. He would do absolutely anything for that little girl.

3 Weeks

2009-02-21T17:46:00.003-04:00

Squishy is now 3 weeks old. She is getting so big! She is learning to hold her head up for longer and she recognizes voices. When we talk to Mom she looks towards the speaker when Mom is talking. I miss Mom, and I'm sort of wishing we were closer to our parents.

She has had a few sleepless nights and we've had a few scares. She fell last night and I have never been so scared in my life. I was completely petrified and inconsolable for about an hour. Husband was just as scared, but he kept his cool as usual. He is really shining at the fatherhood thing. He is amazing. He does the groceries, he wakes up to change her and comfort her at night and he snuggles her every chance he gets.

We are going for dinner tonight. Hopefully Squishy will stay asleep while we are out. It's an experiment. We might try to go to the city tomorrow to shop and as a test run for the trip to NB.

First Day Alone

2009-02-13T14:36:00.002-04:00

Today is my first day alone with Squishy. She is doing fine. She slept most of today so far and has enjoyed her baby sling. I am managing to get some laundry done while she is sleeping.

Right now she is hiccupping and observing the world in her bouncing chair. I think she is going to start fussing soon so this will be a short post.

One major thing I am learning is that even though she is small, and even thought she sleeps most of the time she needs a lot of attention.

Squishy Update

2009-02-07T10:00:00.003-04:00

Squishy is doing very well. She had her first doctor's appointment yesterday and she is growing nicely. She eats more than I ever imagined, and since I'm breastfeeding I often feel like I'm permanently attached to her. Breastfeeding was one of my biggest fears. I was worried that I wouldn't have the patience to sit with her for hours to feed. I thought that she might not take to breastfeeding and I thought that it might be too painful to do frequently. I have not had any of these problems. She has taken to breastfeeding, I have not suffered too horribly and we get to spend a lot of time together.

She sleeps a lot. She sleeps when she eats, when she's being burped, when she is in her sling and when she is in the car. I was told that newborns slept most of the time, but I was expecting to sleep less myself. Right now I am only waking up twice a night, once at 11pm and once somewhere between 3 and 4am. I wake up for good around 6:30 and 7am.

One thing I have been surprised about is how little home life has changed. Husband and I still have time to read, play video games and spend lots of quality time on the internet. I have not fallen behind on any of my chores. The dishes are getting done, the laundry isn't piling up as much as I had feared. I have been advised to plan some projects that can be done in fits and spurts so that I don't go insane with boredom, but I'm not occupied when I'm needed by the Squishy One.

I am now, at least temporarily, a SAHM

2009-02-04T19:36:00.003-04:00

I am no longer "unemployed"! I am now a Stay At Home Mom. Squishy was born Jan. 30th at 5:03pm. She was 8lbs, 6oz and more work than I care to admit. I spent almost a week in the hospital waiting for her arrival. Nana is coming tomorrow to stay with us for a while since Husband goes back to work to do inventory.

The first week has been an experience. I have gone through so many emotions, all of them earth-shattering and entirely new. I am learning how to arrange everything around this new little person. Husband and I have been getting out and continuing to do stuff like going to the mall but we are both still in awe and a little shell-shocked. She has changed everything, but I'm surprised by how much still feels the same.

Sleep isn't as big of an issue as I had worried. We are getting about as much sleep as before, it's just at diffferent times. I'm a little worried about what life will be like with Husband back at work. We will see what happens.

Still no Monkey

2009-01-22T11:32:00.003-04:00

I'm still pregnant. Today is my 25th birthday. I was expecting to have my baby by now. I am feeling odd. I am still anxious, I hurt but not in the way I think I'm supposed to hurt and I just don't feel right. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow so if nothing changes before then the ob/gyn will be able to help me figure out what's going on. I'm hopeful that things will change today and I will have a baby soon!

Still Waiting

2009-01-17T11:47:00.003-04:00

ARGHHHHH!!!

I'm due in 2 days. I have not experienced the "uncontrollable urge to clean" that my mother has been waiting for but I have been feeling twinges and tweaks of discomfort and back pain that precede labor.

The ob/gyns are happy with how everything is going but I'm getting impatient. The baby's room is completely ready, the hospital bags have been packed and re-packed and I'm going insane. To top it all off I turn 25 next week. In all likelihood I will be in the hospital on my birthday. I don't think I'm getting a cake this year but Mom said she will bring my present with her when I call her to come to the hospital with me.

I will try to keep everyone up-to-date on what is happening in my uterus. Hopefully v2.0 will be here within the next few days.

No Baby Yet

2009-01-08T13:43:00.003-04:00

So, there is no baby yet. I am trying to be patient. I am walking every day for about an hour and doing the things the doctor told me to do to make sure I don't go past my due date. Things have started happening but very slowly. The baby has dropped, my abdomen is tighter but I'm not having contractions.

I have been feeling a little lonely and stir-crazy the last few days. The ob/gyn recommended I frequent Maggie's Place once the baby's born. I have been meaning to drop by but I'm at the point where I don't want to do too much outside the house by myself.

Maggie's Place is a family resource center aimed at families with younger children. They have breastfeeding support, a Public Health nurse, a toy library, play groups and all kinds of other fun stuff. I think that once the baby is born I will be there often.

I have been thinking about things that I want to make the baby. Here's the list of what I've already made:
- white sweater
- 3 beanie-type hats
- a onesie with v2.0 stenciled on the front
- glow in the dark stuffed stars

I want to make the baby:
- a glow in the dark moon to go with the stars
- a red hoodie with devil horns (Husband was convinced by an ultrasound picture that our baby is the devil)
- bibs (maybe made with fused plastic backing)

But I don't have the ambition to make much right now as most of my energy is focused on waiting.

Only a week and a bit left I hope!

Crazy Month. Now I'm Playing the Waiting Game

2009-01-03T14:25:00.003-04:00

It has been one hell of a month. I'm all done work, it was a great time but I'm not sure if I'll go back next year. We will see what happens between now and October.

Christmas and New Years went off without a hitch. I was able to stay with Mom and Dad for a few days. Little Brother is in the process of moving back in with them so that he can find a job and pay off some of his debts before going back to school. He brought his cat with him so Phebs has a new play-mate.

Christmas was amazing. My family is very dorky. We played "Survivor; Gibson Lake" at the camp on Christmas day. I didn't participate much as the activities were mostly outside and a little too physically demanding for my 8-and-a-half months pregnant ass. Dinner was great, Mom, Aunt Mary and Uncle Ryan were in the kitchen and they did a great job. Everything was tasty and everyone was well-fed.

For New Years we had a lobster dinner with Doodles and C. Husband had entirely too much fun traumatizing the lobsters. We played my new Trivial Pursuit (I won) and some Rock Band 2.

Now I'm sitting around the house feeling useless and playing the waiting game. The doctor says that everything is perfect, and now we're just waiting for the baby to decide to be born. I'm not due for another 2 weeks but I am starting to hate this waiting to go into labor thing. This is the most nerve-wracking part. I feel lazy and useless, lonely and bored.

More Canadian Politics

2008-12-04T10:45:00.003-04:00

Wow, I got rid of my TV too soon, I'm missing a lot of interesting news about the Canadian Political Crisis.

PM Harper is waiting for a response from GG Jean about his request to suspend Parliament in order to develop a plan that would prevent the NDP-Liberal Coalition. There has not been a coalition government in Canada in living memory, if ever (I'm too pregnant to be researching Canadian History, I will trust my memory and leave it at that).

Even though we have not seen a coalition government most people who are familiar with the concept and the rules of a Parliamentary Democracy were aware that it was always a possibility with a minority government. Canadians are not going to want to return to the polls this soon and for the most part we don't trust Harper to spend what is needed to keep Canada in business during this Global Economic Crisis. I think that a coalition is the best possible alternative.

I'm amazed at the people up in arms about how this is violation the central tenants of democracy. I'm fairly certain that the MAJORITY of Canadians did not vote for Harper as PM. If a large number of Conservatives crossed the floor and became Liberals would the Conservatives still have a mandate to govern? We elect MPs to represent us and our geographical location. We do not elect parties or the PM. If the MPs think that they are acting in the interest of their constituents they will support the party that will best represent those interests. I think of this as members of the NDP temporarily crossing the floor to become Liberals for a set amount of time (18 months) in order to do what is best for Canadians.

I fully support a coalition government especially if it can maintain the support of the Bloc. If the Conservatives had acted in a manner that maintained the support of Parliament and Canadians they would not be in a no-confidence situation. They could have done the right thing and tried to form their own coalition of sorts instead of acting unilaterally against the interests of Canadians.

Check out this great article from Neil MacDonald: "Dear neighbour, about what's going on in Canada: Neil Macdonald explains the Canadian crisis to Americans"

Third Trimester, Christmas and All that Other Fun Stuff

2008-11-27T10:46:00.002-04:00

Yay! I'm 32 weeks, only 8 or so left to go and I'll be responsible for the life of another human being.

I'm drifting between being excited and anxious about the imminent arrival of v2.0 and being absolutely scared shitless. The baby's room is almost ready and I catch myself looking at it and thinking about what it's going to be like to have a real, live baby in there.

I'm not sleeping well as I wake up every 2 or 3 hours to use pee or just to find a more comfortable position to sleep in. I'm coming down with a bit of a cold so that's not helping the no sleep.

I'm done work around the 19th and I am hoping to head straight home. Christmas is going to be spent with my family. We don't really know what Husband's family is up to this year as SIL is stuck in the States with Niece and her husband due to immigration stuff. MIL and FIL still don't know if they are going to stay home, go visit SIL in Oromocto or visit SIL in Eastport (the one stuck in the States).

"I, for One, Welcome Our New Liberal Overlords"

2008-11-05T20:18:00.004-04:00

From The Transhuman Comedy

So the world (or at least North America) is abuzz with excitement about the change that we saw and the progress that has been made. It's an exciting time to be alive, and it's a time of great uncertainty and anticipation.

What does an Obama White House mean for Canada?

Obviously he is interested in re-negotiating NAFTA and he wants to shut down Guantanamo. The former, while being an interesting bit of possible policy change is probably far down the line.

Guantanamo is more urgent, and hopefully Omar Khadr will be released before his trial date. Obama's inauguration is on January 20th and Khadr's trial is scheduled for January 26th.

The big issue I am curious about is Obama's plans for Iraq and Afghanistan. What kind of effect will an increased US presence in Afghanistan mean for Canadian troops stationed over there?

Care Package from Africa

2008-10-30T09:39:00.004-03:00

On Tuesday I arrived home from work to find one of those giant, puffy envelopes on my kitchen table. Husband hadn't mentioned that I had a package waiting for me so I was extremely curious.

The return address made me even more excited. It was from my crazy, amazing, wonderful, crazy, awesome friend who is currently living, and working in Africa! The return address was her Canadian address so I figure that her parents, who recently visited her in Africa, had brought back some goodies with instructions to mail them.

YAY!!!! Here are my presents!

I got a dress-thing (one of those dresses African women wear, very simple and comfortable), a bib for Squishy, a pillow cover and some soap!

The best part is that these things were purchased from a group that helps women find strength and independence through training them to make and sell textiles.

Now I have to think of something to send back to her...

As Promised!

2008-10-27T15:47:00.003-03:00

Mario Magnet Set!

Ta Da!

It's Been a While

2008-10-27T10:34:00.002-03:00

Things have been a little busy lately. We've been visiting family, preparing for the baby and I have been working on craft projects for Christmas. I will post pictures shortly, but I just finished most of them so I don't have any pictures yet.

My belly is getting huge. It's getting hard to put on socks. We have so many things to go though and lots still to buy. I have most of the big things except for a change table, but I need the little things I never would have thought about like a thermometer or diaper cream. It's a little daunting.

I'm hearing a frequent refrain of "oh, don't worry! It all comes naturally." I am tempted to call bullshit on this statement. If it "all came naturally" then there would be no need for child and social services. There would be no bad parents and we would have perfect children everywhere.

I have been referred to the diabetes clinic because my sugar is a little high. I'm not overly concerned, as I have been eating a lot of junk food lately and I always knew I was at risk for gestational diabetes. This is just a precautionary measure.

I will hopefully update again shortly!

Weird Day

2008-09-30T12:45:00.003-03:00

Something feels off today. I quit my job at the paper yesterday because I was offered another job. I'm supposed to start this new job Monday if at all possible, but I'm still nervous. I turned down another offer, a good offer because I like the hours better. The pay is the same so that isn't a factor.

I'm nervous because I haven't signed the papers yet. Everything was pending my approval by their HR department. I can't see why my back-check wouldn't work out, but I'm still nervous.

I'm feeling very off today. I am antsy, but a little lethargic and down. I am very tired, and I don't want to work today. The only thing I'm really doing is tying up a few loose ends but I need to get this stuff done.

The baby keeps kicking me. Mom says it's revenge for all the kicking I did while she was pregnant. I think I need a hug...

Fall, Thanksgiving, Family

2008-09-20T09:26:00.004-03:00

It's almost fall. The leaves are turning and I'm getting ready for Thanksgiving. I made plans with my family without checking with Husband. I kind of just assumed that he was only going to have one day off this year, as usual, and that we wouldn't want to drive home. I might have been mistaken. He seems to be a little upset that we are not going home again this year.

I would love to see his folks but the traveling is getting harder on me. If they want to come visit us they are more than welcome! We have the space and the dishes even if it would be a little cramped with my parents here too. I love having the family together! Soon enough his family will be coming this way frequently for MIL's craft shows, so it's not like we won't get to see them until Christmas. I haven't seen my aunt and uncle since our wedding, and they live less than an hour away.

Things still aren't great at work. I'm trying to grin and bear it but it's still not fun. I have a hard time selling a product I'm not really sure I believe in. I am keeping an eye out for other opportunities but with the Squishy on the way I'm not sure if it's worth it.

It occurs to me that this "blog" is halfway between a journal and an op-ed column. I know friends and family occasionally visit to see what I'm up to and what I'm thinking so I suppose I am fulfilling the expected purpose. I like getting my thoughts out, and if strangers and friends like reading these thoughts all the better!

Billy May and his "Zorbeez" kind of freak me out...

Yay! Canadian Politics!!!

2008-09-12T16:48:00.003-03:00

I am trying to get up to date on NS federal politics. I have been paying attention to the news stories and checking out some of the various riding associations' websites.

This story caught my eye today. I find it interesting not for the news, since it was obvious that the Conservative Party would have to replace Luke after her criminal convictions came to light, but for the tone, the phrasing and the way the reporter has written the manner of speech of the Prime Minster. Go on, take a look and see if you can spot it.

No? It's this paragraph in particular that caught my eye: "I think the real issue, you wanna talk about quality of candidates — Mr. [Stephane] Dion should address the tone of his campaign and should address the quality not just of his candidate but even of his members of Parliament here."

Although it is becoming more common for writers to write more "casually" I think that the above paragraph demonstrates more of the reporters political views than preference for a casual style. Aren't reporters supposed to objectively recount the facts and let the readers come to their own conclusions?

Is this slip indicative of an overall lack of respect for Prime Minister Harper, or is it just one writer?

Look What I Made!!!

2008-09-05T17:41:00.005-03:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce Squishy! I had my ultrasound yesterday. Everything is going well, there's a heart, lungs, diaphragm, bladder, kidneys, femurs, eyes, spine and all the other important parts. Squishy moved around a lot while we were trying to see him or her, very athletic and active for a little squishy thing but that means that we didn't to see any nice profiles. This picture was taken before Husband and I were shown the screen. I think it's a good first picture of Squishy.

McCain's Running Mate

2008-08-29T18:48:00.002-03:00

Normally I don't spend too much time on US politics, however I think that this warrants some attention.

Sen. John McCain has announced that his running mate in the upcoming election will be Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin. Although I am thrilled that the glass ceiling is cracking, I am very much off-put by her anti-choice stance and dismal record on the environment. I admire anyone with strong convictions but she is not the kind of woman I want one breath away from the presidency.

I am a little curious how she can reconcile her apparent drive to return women to their traditional roles (see her stance on health care benefits, gay-rights, and equal pay as well as choice) with her job. Even as governor she would have been working a job that would have cause conflict with her tradition-based beliefs, as vice president she would be in a position that required even more time away from her family. Can she balance her family role with her political career? Is she blazing the trail for women who want to participate in politics and raise a family? Is she a hypocrite?

Home for a visit

2008-08-24T10:14:00.004-03:00

I am presently in Fredericton. I came to visit my folks, go to a good friend's wedding and visit anyone who had the time to spare.

As soon as I got in town my car was spotted by a friend, so I had coffee with him and met his new grilfriend on Friday night. I was out till about midnight. Surprisingly, I really liked her. She was sweet, seemed quite intelligent and very friendly. I can understand what he sees in her and it makes me happy to see him with someone who does not seem like a raving lunatic like the last few girls he introduced me to.

Yesterday I got my start bright and early because I didn't actually know what the schedule was for the wedding. I called the bride's brother to get the details and still got a little lost, but luckily the only thing I missed was helping decorate for the reception. The bride's brother, one of my closest friends, tracked us down (Us= me and my "date" another old friend) and we went to Timmy's for a snack. We made it to the church on time. The ceremony was short and sweet, just like it should be and the reception was a blast. I managed to stay to about 11 which was later than I had thought I would be able to make it. I tried to dance, but the music was a litle too loud and I was a little too tired.

They are having a breakfast/brunch thing this morning, but I don't think I will be going. I figure that's a family thing and I'm not really that interested in getting dressed right now.

My gift was a blanket that I hade been making for months. As soon as I found out that they were engaged I started planning this gift. I tried to make it as close to their wedding colour as I could imagine and I think I did ok. The colours I used were a little greener than the wedding colour, but it's close. I forgot to take a picture of the finnished product but I do have pictures of the squares somewhere.

I'm heading back to Truro some time today, but I'm in no huge rush. I might wander around town a bit first.

Nova Scotia Department of Community Services is failing our most vulnerable citizens

2008-08-14T18:33:00.004-03:00

Recently a group home for people with disabilities in Aylesford NS has shut its doors due to lack of funding. Fourteen residents must be relocated by the end of this week. Many of these residents have been living in that house for a long time. That was more than a "Group Home" it was HOME. Any changes can cause people with disabilities stress. They can take a long time to adjust to new situations and consistency is key to a smooth and happy life.

The main reason for the closure is money, as it usually is in such cases. According to another story at CBC "They say the government has not increased operational payments in 15 years and reduces per diem payments if clients leave."

FIFTEEN YEARS since the Department of Community Services has increased operational costs. The cost of living in that time has gone up almost 50%. The Department of Community Services is due to increase funding in the fall, but that will be far to late to help these 14 people.

Knocked up and Boring

2008-08-13T19:03:00.004-03:00

Not my sink, but you get the idea.

As I am getting fatter, as the Squishy gets bigger I am getting lazier. I write less here than I have in ages, I have who knows how many craft projects on hold, and since Husband has gone on his vacation I have been avoiding cooking and dishes like the plague. I am slacking at work.

I am trying to convince myself that I need to get up, get out of the apartment and do stuff but I have no motivation. Am I using my pregnancy as an excuse to be lazy? Am I suffering from some type of prenatal depression? Does this have to do with the job I'm not thrilled about?

There are many days where I wonder how much trouble we'd be in if I got fired and just stayed on EI until Squishy is born. I wonder if it would be possible to find work as a freelance online content developer or if I could go back to school, and either get a degree in Marketing or do my Masters in Philosophy or Women's Studies.

Ahhh, life is being crazy, but I suppose that's the nature of growing up and starting a family.

Effing Mood Swings

2008-08-08T21:34:00.004-03:00

Grrr... so I have been having moods swings, and they are not helped by the fact that I am quite convinced that Husband has no understanding of or sympathy for what I am presently experiencing.

Not only am I overly emotional, I am stressed and I'm lacking a proper support structure. It feels like I have so few people to talk to that I am alone.

I am excited about Squishy. I can't wait to be a mother and I can't wait to see Husband as a father, but there are days when I just want the world to go away for a little while.

My boring life...

2008-07-30T19:19:00.004-03:00

I had my first bout with "Holy Fuck, I'm boring" today while I was stalking some friends on FB. They had a brief conversation about crazy lives and I realized I'm not willing to go through a lot of that bs any more.

I'm not sure it's that I'm boring, I was always on the laid-back side but I realized that I no longer have the option of partying like I did once upon a time. True, I rarely pursued that option, but still it was an option.

Week 15

2008-07-28T17:23:00.002-03:00

So Squishy is almost 4 inches long now. I think I can feel movement but I'm not really sure. I'm not as tired s I have been but I'm still hungry all the time.

I'm just not used to these effing mood swings. This morning I hated my job and wanted nothing more than to quit and go back to working in a restaurant. Now I'm doing ok. I think I'd rather have my old job, but I'm getting by.

Crazy Cats for a Crazy Cat Lady

2008-07-05T09:17:00.002-03:00

I am watching one of my cats go insane. She's normally a bit off the wall, but something has really fucked her up this morning. She's repeatedly tried, and failed, to jump up on Husband's desk.

Ok, time for a real post

2008-07-01T10:39:00.002-03:00

Happy Canada Day! Our lovely country is 141 today. I am celebrating by sleeping in, doing laundry and maybe going to the beach or the park. I think we'll be able to see the fireworks from our window, but I know Doodles and C will have a great view. The fireworks are right across the street from their house.

The new job is going well but I'm still not sure sales is for me. I like dealing with people, I like getting out and getting to know my town but I don't like selling things. I've started noticing that now that I have to pay attention to the paper that local journalism leaves something to be desired. Most of the stories that come from our newsroom are not hard-hitting investigations. They are mostly soft, local interest stories about neighbors helping people around the world, or minor grievances. I keep me criticism to myself but it's there. Most of the national news and the international news is written by the wire services. I know that's how it's done in most of the smaller towns, even some cities use wire services.

My Brain Cannot process Thoughts With More Than 10 Words.

2008-06-26T19:32:00.003-03:00

My brain is slowly draining out my ears. I've been trying to write a blog post for another blog for 3 days and I can get about 4 or 5 sentences written and then... nothing. My brain stops cooperating. I think the Squishy is sucking my brain juice.

New Job = No Posts

2008-06-20T18:12:00.002-03:00

I have been so busy lately that I have not had enough time to check my FB profile let alone write a blog post. The new job is going well. I am very busy and learning lots. I will try to do a proper update later.

Yesterday was a good day except for the not-good stuff

2008-06-10T11:06:00.003-03:00

I think my job interview went really well yesterday. I made a good impression and I am hopeful. It seems like it would be an exciting job. I'm surprised by how much I enjoy advertising and marketing. I am looking forward to learning how things go in traditional daily print media.

I had an appointment in Halifax yesterday right after my interview. Unfortunately the person I was supposed to meet was called away for an unexpected emergency and I was left out of the loop when the calls were going out. It was a bit of a pain but those things happen. I have to call and reschedule today.

I've been neglecting my crafts and my reading lately. I will have to try to get something productive done today.

Job Interview and Indiana Jones

2008-06-03T16:36:00.006-03:00

Yay! I have a job interview on Monday! I'm very excited. It's an advertising sales position with the local paper. I'm not entirely sure what a job at a newspaper would entail however I'm more than willing to learn. An author I know told me that one of the best ways to get into publishing is to start in sales.

Husband got his copy of Lego Indiana Jones today. I foresee an unproductive evening. We've been playing Lego Star Wars to practice. I can't wait :)

Lonely saved post

2008-06-03T11:55:00.002-03:00

WHEEE! Forgot what I was going to say.

Cabin Fever

2008-05-30T21:38:00.003-03:00

I had my fist bout of unemployment cabin fever today. I went on an adventure of sorts. I bought buttons and a few groceries. It was exciting, or not but at least it got me out of the house. I applied for a few more jobs today, we'll see how that goes. The job market in Truro is as dire as I was warned.

Day time TV still sucks, unemployment is still boring and I need something to while I look for a job. I finished another sweater, and I might finish a blanket soon.

Bad News

2008-05-27T19:18:00.003-03:00

I am preparing for some lean times. I was laid off today. I'm not bitter and I completely understand that this is the nature of business. I am left with nothing but gratefulness to my co-workers and bosses. I had a blast working with them and have nothing negative to say about my experience there. I was well-treated and respected.

That being said I am still, nonetheless, jobless. I face a conundrum. Do I find regular joe-job that most likely will not make use of my skills or do I go on unemployment and search for a career?

I will be thinking about that for a little while. I will keep everyone updated.

Not Enough Updates?

2008-05-26T19:52:00.006-03:00

So it seems that I do not update often enough. I think I can see the validity of that criticism. Things have been rather hectic of late with visits to friends and family. I'm sure that if the near future as summer blooms I will have oodles to share.

I recently completed 2 (that's right, 2!) sweaters! I am very proud of myself.

Both patterns are from Stitch 'n Bitch Crochet; The Happy Hooker by Debbie Stoller.

Hey Feds! That's MY money.

2008-05-13T21:05:00.004-03:00

CBC is running a story about the case brought to the Supreme Court by Confédération des syndicats nationaux (CSN), a labour union that is fighting against the misappropriation of Employment Insurance funds by the federal government. The problem stems from the EI surplus being reverted into general revenue and used for debt reduction and other administrative costs. The union says that this is an indirect tax and therefore unconstitutional.

When you pay in to EI do you expect to see any of it back unless you make a claim? Should we be refunded individually when there is a huge ($55 million since 1996) surplus? I was on EI for a grand total of 1 and a half months. It was great but I knew it wasn't going to last, nor did I want it to last. I didn't expect to receive any benefits beyond what I had paid in to the system to that point. The EI contributions I had made and continue to make are mine, the government is merely holding it for me. I do not expect my EI contributions to go towards debt reduction, because my income taxes are supposed to be paying that.

If the government insists on holding on to the EI surplus the money must be spent on EI and employment related ventures, even better it could be used to lower Student Debt because I will bet that many students are going to pay in to EI for a good, long time. An EVEN BETTER idea is to use some of that surplus for pay equity. Women still make much less than men while working jobs of equal value, take the surplus and use it to compensate women who are being unfairly discriminated against. Why should Sanitation workers make more than child care workers? There are many better ways to spend that surplus if the government doesn't want to give it back but they have no right to spend it on themselves.

Stupid Mondays

2008-05-05T11:25:00.002-03:00

I really did not want to get out of bed this morning. Yesterday was such an awesome day off that I want to pretend it's not Monday. Husband, Doodles and I went geocaching again. We went to the park for a big picnic with sushi for me and chicken and taters for the boys. After the picnic we drove and hiked to geocaches around town. It was fun, we got to see parts of town we would never have seen otherwise including a neat walking bridge over train tracks. Then we went to DQ and got ice cream. It was yummy. Then we went to see Iron Man. I really enjoyed it. Robert Downey Jr. did a great job and Gweneth Paltrow was awesome.

The Great Flood of 2008

2008-05-02T18:31:00.005-03:00

Found this on a Flickr Set. There are some crazy pictures coming out of Fredericton and Oromocto. I almost wish I was there to see it, and I'm glad everyone I know is doing well and no major damage has happened.

To those who aren't familiar, the downtown core of Fredericton, NB is on the flood plain of the St. John River. It floods every year to varying degrees but occasionally there is a major flood. This year the water reached well above flood level and closed down most of downtown Fredericton. The above picture shows the water about 3 meters above where it should be.

New Colours

2008-05-02T12:49:00.000-03:00

Based on this:

I'm not sure what I think of it.

Ch-ch-changes

2008-04-15T18:42:00.003-03:00

Turn and face the Strange...

I've discovered a site that generates codes for colour palettes. It allows you to enter the URL of an image and it will give you the hex values for the main colours.

The current colour palette is based on this picture:

I may be experimenting over the next little while, so forgive the inconsistency.

1st Drunk Post!!!

2008-04-13T00:20:00.003-03:00

Husband, Doodles, C and I are a little drunk right now... Sourpuss + Ouzo + Japanese Beer + Chocolate Beer = Weirdness.

C was posting on LJ so I felt the need to post here. Husband keeps grabbing Doodle's boobies, I'm a little freaked out. Now he grabbed mine. Doodles seems to be locked in the bathroom. We are trying to order pizza, I'm not sure how that's going to work out.