4am

It's 4am and I can't sleep. It might have something to do with the fact that I went to bed at roughly 9pm or the feet sticking into my ribcage again or the heartburn and backache that won't go away. Ahh, the final weeks of pregnancy. I'm so glad I'll never have to do this again.

Monkey is with Nana for the weekend and Husband works tomorrow but not Sunday. We might have to do stuff and go places if we can figure out what we want to do for our last baby-free days.

Baby J feels like she is getting ready but not ready enough. According to husband I'm supposed to go into labor on Thursday. I told him I'll try but the doctors have warned me that we're probably going to be late again. Yay!

I'm going to watch some TV and try to fall asleep on the couch.

SAHM Again

I am officially a stay at home mom again, at least temporarily. Today is my first day of mat leave. Monkey's at the sitter today so I can try to organize things around here, file my paperwork with the gov't and sort through newborn supplies. I think I will also have to make a trip to the local second hand clothing stores today to find summer clothes and PJs for toddlers.

We still have to get a bassinet for Baby J but I think that's the only thing we need to buy. I will scour Kijiji today to see if I can get a deal.

It looks like Little Brother will be moving in with us for at least the summer. He hasn't had any luck with finding a job in F'ton so I told Mom to kick him out and ship him here. If he doesn't find a job he can at least be my nanny for the summer.

I can't wait to not be pregnant anymore. I am sore, tired and I can't move properly. It makes chasing after a toddler hard. It hurts to sit, it hurts to stand, it hurts to bend. Husband has been sick with a nasty cold so neither of us have been sleeping. Monkey has been sleeping very well despite the molar that is about to break through.

Baby J seems to sleep at night, but that might have to do with the fact that I don't really hear or feel much when I'm asleep. I hear Monkey when she cries, but that's about it. I don't hear Husband or the TV and I don't feel kicks or wiggles.

Countdown Is On

I'm done work in less than 2 weeks and the baby's due in 4. AHHHH! I'm not ready.

Monkey has started sleeping in her new bedroom. She's made it through one and a half nights in there. We have to get some kind of curtain to separate her bedroom from the play space we set up.

I'm going to the Ob/Gyn weekly now, which is always awesome. I love the consistent over-long wait times.

I still have to pack my hospital bag but I'm procrastinating. Since Monkey was so very late I don't want to jinx myself this time and prepare too early. The Ob/Gyn said that history usually repeats itself so I'm trying not to get my hopes up even though baby J has dropped already.

Daddy plans on taking at least 2 weeks off of work for the birth etc... but it might be longer depending on when everything happens.

Nap Time = Party Time

Monkey has decided that when Mommy puts her in bed to sleep it's really time to start singing, dancing and occasionally jumping on the bed. I'm torn. Do I leave her there until she falls asleep or do I eventually say "f--k it, she's not going to fall asleep" ? If the later, then when?

This is my current dilemma. She's not crying, she's not upset. A big part of me just wants to leave her there. Does this make ma a lazy mother? She's occupied, I don't have to worry about her since she's in her crib and she's not upset about it. I probably will eventually say "f--k it." but for now she's fine and she still might fall asleep.

Work, Babies, Life

I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore. I would dearly love to have my abdomen back. To not have constant pressure on my ribs, to have less back and hip pain. I know that my breasts won't be mine again for a while but I think I can handle that. I've been pregnant or breastfeeding for 2 years now, non-stop so I have accepted that parts of me aren't going to be mine for some time.

I'm at the stage of pregnancy where I wake up every couple of hours. My body is getting ready for late-night feedings again. This wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that Monkey hasn't been sleeping either and despite my numerous requests the office has yet to implement my "Company Nap-Time" idea. Sigh.

My mat leave replacement seems to be ready to do the job. He's been involved for long enough and has participated in enough to know the drill. I'm not worried about things going belly up while I'm away. We have completed shooting 64 videos. I'm not sure when we will have them all edited with transcripts but that's part of the project. Right now we're focused on equipment suppliers and maintaining our shooting schedule.

Husband has taken up the guitar. One of his employees is a musician and the in-laws are a musical bunch so he has lots of inspiration to draw from. I'm working on amigurumi toys with needle-felted details. Monkey is working on words and putting things in places.

Feeling Better

I am finally starting to kick this cold. I still can't taste or smell anything but I slept fairly well last night and my sore throat is lessening. There's still a lot of pain in my sinuses but hopefully that will clear up soon.

We tried looking at another place last night. By tried I mean we drove in to the driveway to turn around to leave. It was a mobile home out in Beaver Brook. We have seen some beautiful mobile homes. This was not one. I did not want my children anywhere near that house. As Husband put it "This is where you go when you get divorced and don't get anything." So he joked about recommending it to a friend who is getting divorced. It was dingy, appeared to be falling apart and it was on a dirt road.

I will keep up the hunt. I got a few more emails back. If you have any tips for finding a rental property in Colchester Co. NS please let me know!

Sick

I have been struck down by the cold to end all colds. The worst part is I got it from my daughter who has been acting like a trooper. If this was how she felt she is my freaking hero for not being a pain in the ass.

It constantly amazes me how little things like this faze her. She is almost always a happy, bouncy, wonderful little girl who brightens up everyone's day even when I know she must feel like hell.

We are looking for another place to live. We've seen one place that was almost perfect but a little small. I really liked it but Greg was not convinced, so we will keep looking. The housing market in Truro is weird. There seem to be lots of availabilities but landlords are very slow to get back to me.

We will continue the search. Oh, and #2 is a girl too. Husband is stuck in a house full of women.

And so it goes...

Husband needs a change. I want to support him but he needs answers I can't give him. I think he would like me to tell him what to do but I can't.

He's tied down by the idea that he has to keep doing what he's doing in order to provide for our family. It's all very noble and a grand gesture but ultimately if he's miserable he's no good to me as a provider. We need more than a steady income to make this family work. I would rather be living in a tiny 2 bedroom apartment trying to budget my groceries than living in a mansion with unlimited access to a personal chef if it means the difference between him coming home happy every night or him coming home unable to play with his children or spend time with me.

I'll just keep supporting him and I will try my best to keep everything together while he figures out what he wants to do. I keep telling him we can make just about anything work. He takes his role as a provider very seriously but I need him as a partner and a father more than as a provider.

Housing Co-Op

We have applied for a place with a local housing co-op. It looks like an interesting idea and I've been thinking about it for some time. I checked their website the other day and found that they have an upcoming 3 bedroom vacancy. I've got my fingers crossed but they do a credit check and that might work against us. We'll see.

I'm off work today because the sitter is closed for the holiday but the office is open. I had to take a vacation day. I might go in to the office later to check on a couple of things. Monkey and I have to pick up some groceries any way.

We're working on building my hat stash. I have a few that need to be blocked. I'm getting better every time I complete one. I can get a basic hat made in about an hour if I'm not interrupted. I should get some pictures up.

Number 2 is doing well. I am around 25 weeks, give or take a few days. I have heartburn almost non-stop, my nose is constantly running and my back is very tender. In other words I'm still pregnant. We are hoping to book an appointment for gender-determination and 3D pictures soon. Nana and Grandpa have agreed to give the session to us as a gift because I'm too cheap to spend that much money on something that is not a necessity.

I'm a little conflicted about the gender determination. I want to know for practical reasons involving the massive amounts of clothes that Monkey has. We are holding on to things so that if we have another girl we don't have to buy much. It takes up a lot of space and since we will probably be moving to a smaller place soon we might need to reduce our storage needs.

Holy Motherhood Batman!

It's been a while. How are things?

Life caught up with me and has been running me ragged. Working full time with a one-year old and another one on the way takes its tole time-wise and one of my many sacrifices has been the ability to write my thoughts on a semi-regular basis.

I can write now because pregnancy related sleep problems woke me up at an ungodly hour and have kept me up since. Monkey sleeps through the night so I can't blame her. Number 2 kicks a lot but according to husband I can sleep through a lot of that. This is just plain old "I had to pee and couldn't get back to sleep."

Monkey's walking and has a few words that we try to get her to use. She can say "Up" or something that almost sounds like "up" (could be uhuhuhptttp). She has 6 teeth and I think she has a few more on the way soon. At one point I was trying to keep track of all of this in a baby book but that has been abandoned too.

Number 2 is due in July. We are excited and scared and all those other things you are supposed to be when expecting. We will probably have to move again before 2 gets here, unless we can find a roommate who doesn't mind sharing a house with 2 young children.

That's everything in a skeletal blog post. I would try to promise that I'll update more but I think that's debatable, if not an outright lie.