So Far, So Good

So I've been back at work for two days and things are going great. The girls are adjusting to the sitter's as well as I expected and Husband seems to be coping well with only having one vehicle.

In a meeting today the bosses confirmed what I already knew, that I will be "running" our video project. We are keeping my mat leave replacement on, hopefully full time so this means that I am his boss. This is exciting but I've kind of got my fingers crossed that it will eventually mean a raise. I don't expect anything right away since I have to prove that they made the right decision to keep both of us on full time.

One of the women I originally started with is now running the whole marketing team, another is second in command at the call center. It's weird seeing the people I started with at entry level moving up. It makes me really happy and I am excited for all of us but it makes me feel old.

Canada Post, Unions, Mail

I am a good, pro-union socialist. I believe in collective bargaining and the strength unions get from the people they represent. That said I am torn right now. If it weren't for some parts of the back to work bill I would probably support the legislation.
I am opposed to the proposed binding arbitration. I do not think that picking one side's proposal over another will accomplish anything good. I feel that there are unreasonable demands on both sides. Canada Post is an aging institution that needs drastic changes soon but the CUPW needs to protect as many jobs as possible.

Back to Work Blues

I'm getting sad and nervous about going back to work. I'm going to miss my girls. I can't imagine spending the whole day away from them. J is in for quite a shock. She's not used to being away from me for that much time.

I'm also nervous about housework and that stuff suffering. I'm not sure what the new schedule is going to look like but I'm fairly certain that I will be waking up at 6am and going to bed just before midnight.

Back to Work

I am getting ready to go back to work. I will be returning to my job as videographer in less than one week. When I go back I will technically be getting a promotion. My project is expanding and they hope to keep the dude who covered my mat leave on at least part-time. I'll be in charge and he will be working for me.

They have grand plans involving YouTube. Since that was the direction I originally wanted everything to take I am really looking forward to returning and seeing everything through.

I'm nervous about how the girls will do at the sitter's. Jessica still doesn't like it that much but she gets better every time she's there.

Where is Universal Childcare?

We were supposed to have universal childcare by now. My mother's generation started the fight but somewhere along the road it got lost amongst the many other battles we had to fight. The only province in Canada that has childcare available on such a huge scale is Quebec and I don't see us moving there any time soon. I shouldn't have to struggle with deciding to go back to work or not based solely on how much I would have to pay for child care.
My kids deserve quality care. I deserve to be able to work without worrying how I am going to afford their care. My husband deserves to have a happy wife and well cared for children.
With the federal election coming I have started to think about becoming active and volunteering for a party. I was also thinking about what I can do to bring universal child care to life between elections. I want my daughters to be able to make these decisions without worrying about how everything will be paid for.
I wonder if we could set up work based daycare. I wonder if there are enough Moms annd Dads at the office to make that work. I wonder how receptive the bosses would be. Hmmm.

Being Pregnant

I loved being pregnant. I loved feeling the little being inside me moving and growing. I didn't love the aches, the pain, the heartburn. I knew going into both pregnancies that there is a physical toll to be paid for undergoing that much physical change in such a short time. That said, there wasn't much that I truly hated about being pregnant. I only really hated one thing. 

I hated being treated like an incubator. I hated that not only did I have to share my body with this potential person, the obvious physical signs of pregnancy meant that I was sharing my body with the world. Intellectually I knew I would be giving up some autonomy to the potential person sharing my body but I was not emotionally prepared to have that autonomy taken by my family or anyone else for that matter. 

When I was pregnant with my first child I was working at the Wal-Mart Portrait Studio for the winter. We had no where to keep food except the Wal-Mart employee break room. Technically I wasn't a Wal-Mart employee so their insurance didn't cover any accidents that might happen to me out back so I didn't use the employee break room. Our only options for lunch were either to have someone bring us lunch or go to the in-store MacDonalds. 

On one occasion I was leaving MacDonalds with a take out bag. Some pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged man had the audacity to come up to me and say "That food is bad for your baby." I was so shocked that a stranger would say something like that that I didn't even think of a retort. The obvious response being that what I ate was none of his damn business. He wasn't my doctor or my husband or even a friend. His unsolicited advice demonstrated to me, for the first time, how little people respected the autonomy of a pregnant body. I had studied it academically in bioethics and women's studies classes but that is a different experience. Knowing something exists and actually experiencing it are vastly different. 

Now that I'm removed from the doubt of my first pregnancy I can look back and see all of the incidents when people were treating my body as a vehicle for my unborn fetus. As much as I love them my in-laws are guilty of this, my co-workers too. Most people are guilty of this at one time or another and it's almost never malicious. They have just internalized the belief that women are simply not able to make their own decisions without help. 
We are taught that middle-aged, rich white men know what is best for every pregnant body. This has never been true. Women should be trusted to know what is best for our bodies, pregnant or not.
I hope to empower my daughters to take control of their own bodies. I will do my best to teach them about their autonomy. 

Crafts!

I have to change craft preferences. It turns out all the crochet I've been doing and all the wool I've been handling have destroyed my skin. I've had dry, cracked skin all winter. Since I've got some fancy-pants cream from my Dr. and slowed down my crochet I have gotten better. My skin is still sensitive but it's not bleeding and cracking anymore.
This means I'm going to try working more with polymer clay. It's hard to work with clay and care for the little ones. Monkey tried to take off with my tools and a chunk of clay today. Thank god we don't have carpets. I'd have found pink goo smeared into it.

Babies, again

MIL has sent her sister to look after SIL. Auntie will be there until the babies are born so my services are not needed. MIL was just going to cancel her trip to Fla. but Auntie volunteered to take the role as caretaker. I'm more than a little relieved. I was very nervous about looking after a very pregnant, very stubborn woman who I had to keep in her bed 23 hours of the day. I also would have had to look after her 11y/o and my monkeys.

MIL didn't call in Auntie because she was worried about me looking after SIL. She was concerned about BIL. He was (is?) quite useless, disappearing for the day to do his own thing, hiding in the basement and generally being a man an not understanding pregnancy and bed rest.

I am hoping to visit before the boys are born. I think SIL would like some time with my girls before she is too busy with her own.

Babies!

Baby J is 6 months old today and Monkey is just over a week away from 2. I turn 27 (gasp) this weekend. Time needs to slow down. I cannot believe how quickly time passes as I get older. I swear J was only born a few weeks ago. They grow too quickly, but not quickly enough. I really wish Monkey would figure the potty thing out. My hands can't take anymore diapers.

SIL is officially on bedrest. I have offered to come look after her but BIL is due home Tuesday and she has her parents with her until then. I'm starting to wonder if she even needs me to come at all. I have a feeling she'll be in the hospital full time before my shift at her house.

Airing Complaints

Not having a good week. Kids aren't sleeping. Monkey has decided to be 2 a few weeks early. Baby J has started eating solid foods so she's adjusting to that change. Monkey has a nasty diaper rash. She screams every time I try to change her. I have to pin her down with my legs to change her. We've been potty training but no luck yet.
Daddy is working crazy hours. I have minimal help but at least I'm not totally alone. My biggest worry/complaint is that I have agreed to help out my SIL for 3 weeks in February. She's pregnant with triplets and is essentially on bed rest. Her husband is a marine engineer and is away for most of Feb. My in-laws, her parents, are helping her out now but they are going to Florida at the end of January for a month so they won't be able to look after SIL and her 11 y/old daughter.
I'm petrified that something will happen while I'm there. Daddy will be with us for part of the trip but for most of it it's just me. SIL has her in-laws nearby but word has it that she is not getting along with her MIL right now. Vi (my 11 y/o niece) is mostly able to look after herself by since SIL needs looking after too I will be there to help. Nana will be looking after Monkey for part of the visit but since J still hates bottles she will stay with me. In addition to worrying the SIL will go into labor I'm worried about how well we will get along. Being pregnant is hard on every body, but being pregnant with triplets and on bed rest would be extremely trying. I can only imagine how hard this is going to be on her and I am going to be there for part of it. I hope I can keep my patience with her and my girls.
Add to my problems an extremely messy house with piles of dishes and laundry and you have one stressed out Mommy Murple.

A British Motoring Show

I have a confession to make. It's a confession millions of people around the world could make. I am in love with TopGear. Not only that, I have passed this love on to my parents and my children.

I love TopGear because the blokes who host it manage to seem like the kind of guys with whom I would have a beer. They bullshit and entertain while seemingly showing us (gasp) useful information about cars. They make the kind of car show I would make if I had their budget. And writers. And time.

I love the fast shiny cars but not as much as I love the dynamic relationship between Jezza, Hamster and Capt. Slow. This show makes me and my husband want to go on "TopGear" adventures around our province. It makes me want to drive fast around tight curves and narrow highways.

Post-Christmas Recovery

We spent 2 weeks of the holiday away from home. My girls are a little off their schedules and taking a few days to recover. I was with my parents for a week and my in-laws for a week. I went a little crazy. I love both families but I missed my house and my stuff. It's unnerving being in someone else's space for so long.
Now that we're home I'm trying to organize all of the new toys and gadgets. We have so much stuff. I look and worry that it won't get played with bit my worries are mostly unfounded. At least I'm playing with my new toys.